Where Do I Start?

Looking around at ten years of living
Dreaming of another life an hour away
More peaceful
Countryside and quiet
Some land for boys to run and husband to call his own
Closer to the creation that heals my soul and speaks so LOUD
And so soft

But where do I start?

The leap between this place and there is a canyon
Deep, wide and scary
The details overwhelm and paralyze
Can't life as we know it just STOP,
so I can make this happen?

Fear creeps in and brings its cousin despair
And doubt crowds out dreams
And I cry

How to overcome
How to believe that You delight to give good gifts to Your children
To trust that the deep longing that throbs in my chest was planted there by You
That now is the time, as we've waited
Patient and content
Wanting Your will more than ours
But still praying
Ever praying . . please

If it's Your gift, then it's Yours to deliver
To prepare, to present, to surprise
Mine is to wait
With expectancy and joy
Like a child

Doubt no longer the antithesis of faith
But a bridge
From my efforts to Your heart
A beautiful place to rest
And wait
And work
And pray
And believe

A perfect place to start

Sitting on this bridge and giving thanks for . .

44. chasms too deep for me to cross alone
45. the love You chase me down with
46. fellowship that filled my body, mind and soul
47. the beauty of fun and Your creation
48. kindred hearts
49. sons and daughter
50. the way forgiveness can unify in a moment
51. son who calls home for his father's counsel
52. my Father's counsel
53. iron sharpening iron

holy experience