green monster jealousy and your cousin envy
you puff up and tear down simultaneously in my soul
someone else receives my accolades
why, what is wrong with me
humming siren songs of pride, purpose, and place
in these uncertain waters
you cast out promises of security and confidence
but what looks like a life ring is really an anchor
dragging
my
soul
down
deep
into
disillusionment, striving, and fear
drowning, gulping, grappling beneath these waters of comparison
my efforts to speak only result in choking . . slowly . . suffocating my soul
I ask myself, "And why am I doing this?"
green monster, little cousin
you've stolen my purpose, my motive, my heart
keep your cheap praise, your criticism, and condemnation
I'm swimming to dry land and the shores of humility
there my feet find level ground and stability
there I learn from my peers, no longer my rivals
there I create, dream, write, speak
in the clarity and warmth of the sun
goodbye green things
Labels: imperfect prose
