Doubts & Dreams

I came across this old post tonight. 

It was written almost three years ago. When our dream of moving to the country was just that . . a dream.

Today it's our reality. 

And it's better than we ever dreamed!

I'm still dreaming. And the dream I'm dreaming now is still coming true.

I'd forgotten how doubt is really a part of dreaming. 

It can kill it.

Or it can be the very thing that clarifies and strengthens  a dream.

It can be a bridge.

photo credit: Hilary Peterson

Where to Start?

Looking around at ten years of living
Dreaming of another life an hour away
More peaceful
Countryside and quiet
Some land for boys to run and husband to call his own
Closer to the creation that heals my soul and speaks so LOUD
And so soft

But where do I start?

The leap between this place and there is a canyon
Deep, wide and scary
The details overwhelm and paralyze
Can't life as we know it just STOP,
so I can make this happen?

Fear creeps in and brings its cousin despair
And doubt crowds out dreams
And I cry

How to overcome
How to believe that You delight to give good gifts to Your children
To trust that the deep longing that throbs in my chest was planted there by You
That now is the time, as we've waited
Patient and content
Wanting Your will more than ours
But still praying
Ever praying . . please

If it's Your gift, then it's Yours to deliver
To prepare, to present, to surprise
Mine is to wait
With expectancy and joy
Like a child

Doubt no longer the antithesis of faith
But a bridge
From my efforts to Your heart

A beautiful place to rest
And wait
And work
And pray
And believe

A perfect place to start