Sometimes I feel like maybe I sound like a broken record. Always talking about thanks-giving, how it's life changing, perspective giving, etc. And sometimes I think I've got it down, and I'm ready to move on to another lesson.
Then there are days like today, Thanksgiving Eve itself. I thought I'd get a head start on preparing. Why I've never thought of cooking a few things the day before eludes me. Except that maybe I was cleaning. Yes, I'm sure I was cleaning, because today I was not only cooking fantastic side dishes, but I was also dusting, scurrying boxes and clutter out of sight to the basement, "finishing" laundry, and scrubbing toilets.
Sure I got a head start, but the reality is I've got that lower back throb I get when I've been on my feet all day (like on days like Thanksgiving and Christmas), and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I can't help but wonder if I've just run a 10k the day before a marathon.
And all that thanks-giving I'm always talking about. Well it's hard to do on a normal day much less a day on household steroids. Maybe it's a lesson I'm not quite done learning.
This afternoon, I wisely stepped away for about half an hour. It was right after a conflict with one of my teens. Really? A conflict? On Thanksgiving Eve?! I wasn't feeling thankful at all. I felt like hitting something.
Sitting in my room, feet up, hot tea, and doing deep breathing exercises I began to feel the full size of the chasm between my vision of this day and my reality. I'd read Lisa-Jo's wonderful Tired Mother's Holiday Creed and even encouraged others to read it. So why was I still getting stuck in all the busy and not enjoying the gift?
I could postulate all kinds of reasons, but I suspect it comes down to this. Enjoying the gift begins with giving thanks for the gift. So I began to give thanks, and in thirty seconds it calmed my head, heart and body better than the quiet, the tea, and the deep breathing.
Thanks-giving does change me, but it's not like plastic surgery. It's not permanent. It's more like going to the chiropractor. It sets my heart and head right, and everything else works better.
Tonight, I'm thankful for many things. But the one that stands out is me (that was scary to type).
I am thankful for me. For the way I stayed fairly calm in the conflict. For the way I knew to step away a bit. For the way I found my way back to gratitude. For the way I went back to work. For the way I am learning that perfection is an illusion and the chasm between it and reality is an invitation to live authentically and humbly.
And I am thankful for the knowledge that I would take that low back throb every day if that's what it took to love and care for my family. (And I'm really thankful the holidays only come once a year!)
I am thankful for you too and the way we get to connect here. I pray you have a wonderful weekend and find much to give thanks for whatever your circumstances.
What are you thankful for about you? Tell me in the comments!
We're celebrating Thirty Days of Thanks by focusing on gratitude here for the month of November. Join us every day or any day by posting your thanks-givings in the comments, at Winsome Woman on Facebook, and/or on your own FB wall!
Labels: Thanks-Giving Stories, Thirty Days